Vegan Waldorf Salad with Chickpeas

Dear, Celery.

Hi. I have just one question for you:

Why?

I mean really. Your stringiness. Your overpowering flavor. Your unbearable stench.

In the words of the great philosopher, Michael Scott: “Why are you the way that you are?”

Not even my favorite food (peanut butter) can make you tolerable. Ants on a log? I think I’ll pass.

It seems like you’re in everything. Soups, salads, snacks, stews. I can’t avoid you.

Why. Just…why.

When I think back to the day you and I were first introduced, I remember putting you in my mouth, chewing once, and promptly spitting you back out on the kitchen table. Even back then, at the ripe old age of 5, I could not stomach you.

Not much has changed.

Well, unless you don’t count my intense loathing of you growing by the second as a change.

You are the only single food I can genuinely say that I hate.

You repulse me.

Sincerely, Alexa

Dramatic? Yes. But also necessary so that you know why there’s no celery in this vegan waldof salad.

If you want to put the Green Devil in it, you do it. Mark wanted me to, but there was no way I could even bring myself to purchase the stuff and throw it in his half.

I. Hate. It.

Okay. Moving on from Stringy Satan…

Waldorf salad! Have you ever had it?

I think I had it once at Mark’s house. It’s typically a mixture of things like grapes, apples, walnuts, he-who-must-not-be-named and a mayonnaise-based dressing.

Sounds a bit weird, yes? I kind of totally agree. But somehow it works. Especially in this version!

We’re not using mayo. Oh no. We’re using hummus because I’m me, and unlike the Demon Vegetable, I can eat hummus morning, noon, and night.

Let’s see how it compares to mayo:

It’s creamy.
It’s tangy
It’s somewhat neutral in flavor

It’s perfect for waldorf salad! It is a bit earthier than mayo, but I really loved it here. Especially with an extra squeeze or two of lemon juice.

To make it more of a meal (and also because I thought chicken was in the original recipe for some reason…), I added a can of chickpeas! Totally optional, but recommended. I loved the extra texture the chickpeas give the final salad, and it’s great on bread, in lettuce wraps, or on its own!

Whether or not you decide to throw the Stalky Prince of Darkness in this salad is up to you. But you definitely should make it. It’s great for a quick lunch, breakfast toast topper, or Mother’s Day Brunch treat!

If the flavors sound weird together, I get you. I thought so too. But trust me, friend. You’ll love this sweet, nutty, earthy, tangy concoction.

Well, that is if you happen to leave the green fibrous miscreant at the store. Where it belongs.